Saturday, December 15, 2007

Allo News Hub, Adieu Christmas news office sex party

Like a deck of cards being shuffled, that sound you're hearing is of a cacophony of newsrooms alterating their state.

"sllller...eeek", there goes another one.

The longitudinal plane you used to negotiate, throwing jolly 'hellos' across desks before 2 minutes later you arrived at yours is likely no more.

Your office now resembles something out of the starship enterprise.

In the name of super efficiciency, speeding up the transaction between raw story and multiple outplay, the office you once loved for all its faults, and well memories, is well stardust.

More worrying as you scope the office in expectation of this year's Christmas tidings, the In flagrante of mmmm sex sex sex at your desk far end of the room, will have to be revised.

In the new concentric office arrangment there is no blind spot. Bummer!

Bloody management.

And remember the 100metres dash after the 30th rum punch, skirt pulled to your knee, tie undone to somehow emphasise your masculinity, that's now become the 10 metres walk.

The hub is many things, but a freind for human indiscretion, Naaaaah.

Though we sapiens are an ingenious lot, so watch out this Christmas for the lights going off and the shrill of laughter.

For the uninitiated the only light that penerates the hub room is on the circumference and that light fades as a squared mutliple in distance towards the centre, meaning the best place to be is the epicentre of the hub.

Which also suggest the best position ( woops sorry) to be in the middle of the black out is with the editors - nice if you fancy one of them in the process.

At this point you're beginning to question this leap into 21st century architecture.

But hold out hope that Tim or Jane that you fancy may well be in your office reach - that dark spot - once again in, say five years time.

Times Change
There is a junction down my street which over the ten years has changed more times than an aging movie star's visit to the plastic surgeon.

Next year in a bid to ease traffic flow, the council will try something new - a revert to the old.

The Net may have resulted in a radical furniture shift in this big warehouse news space, but how long till something else comes along and disrupts it back?

If you still have your old office as thousands of newsroom do, you might want to think twice of changing it, if nothing for the fulfillment of human pleasure.

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