Running out of creative ideas

Here's an idea:

Seven people eat different food substances against their own judgement and then we wait to see how long they can withstand going to the bathroom.

For good measure two of the meals have been laced with laxatives, whilst another candidate has been refused water on a starch-ridden, constipating meal.

And the winner is. . . ?

The world's gone mad or at least that square screen in the corner of my living room has.

I have nothing against reality TV programmes.

The genre's early outings created an inclusivity into audience participation that hitherto TV makers gave short shrift.

For TV makers to suggest, as some do now, that reality programmes provide the most widespread use for television and its viewers is as obvious as PM Gordon Brown this morning saying he put off an election to let the electorate see what the labour party is made of.

There have been some noticeable exceptions, like any genre of programmes there will also the good, bad and the darn right.
The most outrageous - an experiment - that made itself onto the schedules from a TV market was giving away a baby.

But at 10 O'clock in the morning and I have just seen a flurry reality programmes slated for our screens.

- How to make a TV programme

Find a host with experience, find a shed - daub it with bright painting and festoon it with chairs from the nearest DIY.
Go to the contacts book and look for the speakers. Remember to pay them for getting up early, despite the fact you have no funding. Vary the nature of the chat and then call it something grand, like The Big Question.

Next week, how to swallow microphones without getting a sore throat